woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
