dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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