God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
