you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
