"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
