we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
