a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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