There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We left the knife in your bed.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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