Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize