Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you traded sex for a burrito?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
