so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
