Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
