Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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