He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
