Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
