He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
