I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
