Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
