What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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