You smell like stripper and shame
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
