I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
