Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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