Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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