I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
