dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
