I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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