I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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