Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
