I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
