All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
