i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
