Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
