lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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