I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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