Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
