If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
