Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
