He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
