I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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