drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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