i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
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