So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
