Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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