Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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