6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
