Jerry, you need to find god
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
