I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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