I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
