Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
