google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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