Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
